Hashtag Single

EP 53: MORE BAE WITH FOURPLAY | Julie Griggs and Danielle Dietzek

If you're ready for a different type of dating app experience, I can't wait to introduce you to the badass ladies behind new group dating app FourPlay.  Julie Griggs and Danielle Dietzek were working full time as medical professionals when they decided to develop a dating app with a difference, one that took the pressure off the one-on-one connection and focused on getting single people connecting in the world in real life.

How's it work?  Simple.  You join with a pal, called a "teammate" and you make a team dating profile. Then both of you can swipe individually on other teams. If you like a pair, your teammate will get a notification to check them out.  If both teams swipe right, a group chat is then opened.

Dating strangers on the internet is terrifying for a lot of women and Danielle and Julie had this at the forefront of their mind in creating the antithesis of a dating app, one that's not only like a casual group hangout, but one that provides a layer of safety as well.  

Hope listening to these two inspiring entrepreneurs and besties encourages you to text your single pal "hey... have you heard of FourPlay?" today :) 

EP 52: YOUR INTERNAL FAITH

What are the three things you're not supposed to bring up in polite conversation? Sex, politics, religion?  Right, well, we're breaking all the rules on this one - cause not only do we talk about all three, but we dive deep into how religion, specifically, hyper-conservative Christian religions, can influence our value systems and our approach to dating and love in general.  What are the challenges of navigating being a single independent woman when you were raised to just be a wife and a mom? 

My guest Stephanie comes from a fundamentalist Christian upbringing, which is particularly strict about modesty/ purity culture (ie, no sex before marriage) as well as the patriarchal family structure of the man's role being first and foremost.  And while many conservative Christians can and do find love and happiness at a young age, what happens if you're 41, single, and childless and finding it hard to relate?  

Our VOP Kyle on the other hand was born outside of a marriage to parents who wanted him to choose a religion on his own, and shares with us his unique perspective on the freedom of choice and what finding love and dating means to him.

We've never done a deep dive on the intersection of dating and religious backgrounds before, and while this can be a dicey subject for some, I was honored to have this super insightful and respectful conversation with two people from two different experiences and points of view.  I hope you find it as illuminating as I did.

 

***editor's note: I mention in this episode that women didn't have access to birth control in the 70's unless they were married, but in 1972 the Supreme Court legalized birth control for unmarried people.  That still does not mean that all women had access to it, especially women of color and those without access to healthcare.  Additionally, to this day, some states still require a husband or father's signed consent for abortion procedures, so as we all know the conversation about birth control and women's rights over reproduction is ongoing.

EP 51: DATING IN THE 90's | Sandra Hatton

YOU GO GIRLFRIEND!!!  We're throwin' it back to the 90's in honor of my birthday this month and the 30th anniversary of It's Just Lunch, a multi-national matchmaking agency founded in 1991 by a busy, professional woman who wanted to make it easier for professionals to date.

So, what was working with a matchmaking agency even like in 1991 when the internet was a baby?  I talk with VP of Sales Sandra Hatton to discuss the biggest thing that has shifted in our culture of dating in thirty years:  verification.  Dating has gone from someone you know (or who knows the person you want to know) to a field of strangers.  And alllll the behaviors that now come with that reality.

Stay tuned till the end where Sandra and I play a game called Dating in 2020 or 2000? .... and Sandra fails epically.

Learn more about It's Just Lunch here!

EP 50: JET SET DATING

You know that cliche Hallmark fairy tale story where the big, successful city girl goes home to her parents house in small town America for a short time and she falls in love with the unexpectedly hot single guy that runs the bike or handyman shop and she has to decide between returning to her (lonely) big city life or return to her roots in this small suburban town?  Know anyone that happened to in the pandemic?

 

Yeah, neither do we.  Our guest Zofia (and many others) went home and simply took a break from dating altogether.  Why bother dating when you know you're gonna be leaving soon?  Why date in a country (or town) that you don't want to ultimately settle or live in?

 

Taking that a step further - if you don't want to date in the place that you're currently in, why not set your filters to only show you people from the place you want to live in the future? Zofia and I discuss whether or not that would actually work (on both sides) and the ethical consequences of that.  But what about the world where people are matching with people in other countries that they then have no intention of ever meeting?  And is there a difference in how men respond to this and where women stand on this?  We ask our VOP Renard to chime in, and his answer may (or may not) surprise you. :)

EP 49: FINDING FREEDOM IN (M)OTHERHOOD | Leisse Wilcox

How do you process being single?  Do you feel frustrated, doubtful, even shamed?  In this episode with transformational mindset and relational coach Leisse Wilcox, we take a deep dive into where that shame comes from, whether it's internal or external, and what you can "do" (and not do) about it.

 

And since we celebrate Mother's Day this month and Leisse is a mother of three herself who also happens to be single, we approach the topic of "otherhood".... what happens to us when we fill or don't fill society's expectations of us to be mothers?

 

Listen in to Leisse's gorgeous guidance and words of encouragement as we navigate these tricky feelings... we promise you'll feel better on the other side.

 

Learn more about Leisse here!

Buy here book here!

Listen to her podcast here

EP 48: PRINCIPLES OF POLY DATING

Have you been wanting #single to chat with a pansexual polyamorous/ ethical non-monogamist sober stand-up comedian?  Well, your prayers have been answered!!

 

Listen in as I chat with Lisa, a delightful gem of person, on all of the unique dynamics of polyamorous dating... on apps.... in a pandemic....including what exactly it takes to be in a healthy multiple partnership (spoiler: it's all about communication).

 

We also talk orgies and Lisa's genius new idea for a bi/ poly dating app... wait for it... it's called PANCE.. and we're here for it.  :)

EP 47: PLAYING WITHOUT A PARTNER | Dr. Megan Stubbs

There's a lot of books for single people about dating.  And a lot of sex books that are written for couples.  Sooo..... why aren't there any sex books specifically written for single people?

Enter Dr. Megan Stubbs, aka the "single sexologist," whose soon-to-be released book, "Playing Without a Partner," was written just for us on the topics of confidence, contentedness, fulfillment, and yes, sex in singledom.

What's it really mean to be alone?  How can this time be beneficial instead of detrimental?  How can we live whole, full lives, experiencing all life has to offer as single people?

These answers PLUS fun sex facts you never knew you wanted to know about, like things that don't mix well with semen, and cum that tastes like... bleach??? Uhhhh....

All this and more, hope you enjoy! :)

Learn more about Dr. Megan here.

Buy Megan's book!

 

EP 46: THAT POWER DYNAMIC

You've dated a douchebag.  Right? We all have.  There's no avoiding it.  There seems to be a plethora of dbs out there in the single world, especially in this crazy time of Covid.  

 

if y'all thought dating in New York is bad.... we clearly had no idea what we weren't missing until I started talking to Mona, a badass comedian living and dating in LA who has got dating stories that will blow your mind.  It's one thing to try and date people in the entertainment industry who are just trying to use you to grow their following or ask you for a referral.. but it's another thing altogether if you're a female comic.  Cause if there's one thing that intimidates guys, we've learned it's a woman who unapologetically speaks her mind.  And if she can make people laugh?  Forget about it.  She's unstoppable.  

 

Shout out to Who Haha for connecting me with Mona and her friend Jonathan.  We had the best time laughing and educating ourselves about all sorts of sex terminology.  Plus, Mona has got a dating story for the ages guaranteed to give you goosebumps...you don't want to miss this episode!

EP 45: SINGLE IS THE NEW BLACK | Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell

Let's talk about single shaming. 

Chances are, you're been victim to it at least once in your life.  You've been told, directly or indirectly, that since you're clearly so fabulous and still single, that you simply must be doing something wrong!  You're too picky.  Or you're too thin.  Or too loud.  Or too desperate.  The list goes on and on.

And who are the people most likely to be using this disparaging language on us?  Our friends.  Our family.  Even our own mothers.  

To be fair, it's not really their fault.  They have been indoctrinated for decades with society's belief that a woman's worth is determined by her relationship status.  But Dr. Karin and I are not havin that, and we take a super deep dive discussing all this and more from her acclaimed book, "Single is the New Black: Don't Wear White 'Til It's Right," as well as her experiences from her background as a psychology professor for ten years in Chicago, as well as from her time being an accomplished (yet single) woman in her late 30's. 

It's a super juicy episode so buckle up and put on your women's empowerment body armor for this excellent episode helping us celebrate International Women's History Month!

Learn more about Dr. Karin here.

Work with Dr. Karin here.

Follow Dr. Karin @dr.karin on IG for all sorts of love, fabulous conversation, and advice!

EP 44: DATING AMNESIA

Ever had that thing where you're chatting with someone on a dating app and it all starts to feel a little.... familiar??  I'll be the first to admit that I've started conversations with people I unmatched previously without fully realizing it at first, but unlike my guest Robin I'll eventually let the guy know what's up.  Robin however, likes to see "how far she can take it" lol before a guy will figure it out and sometimes.... spoiler!... they never do!! This has led her to have some seriously weird dating situations.

 

Do men have dating match amnesia when it comes to swiping?  Our VOP Jason weighs in on this and more, as we trade perspectives on what women look for in a dating app versus what men look for, and we FINALLY get answers as to why dudes send  dick pics.  

 

I leave Robin and Jason with a challenge: they have to take the other person's suggestions for changes to their profile and keep them in place for thirty days.  Can't wait to see what happens!