EP 59: UNCONVENTIONALLY INTIMATE | Alexandra Laplante

Next up in our creativity series is Alexandra Laplante, a queer writer/ performer who talks about her journey from monogamy to cheating to polyamory in a solo storytelling piece called "Unconventionally Intimate" which in pre-pandemic times was staged and performed in people's apartments around NYC!

Alex shares her incredible story with us of how she used writing and ultimately performing to help her become honest and open with her sexuality and her core truths, and ultimately find peace with how she wanted to live her life.   She created this show because she believes there needs to be more representation of shame-free female sexuality, non-monogamy and bisexuality/ pansexuality in performances (and let's be honest, the world) and by crafting an intimate, private experience she invited people to let down their walls, be curious, and ask questions ... both to her and to themselves.

She's a fierce advocate for better depictions of non-traditional relationships in theater and we can't wait to see what she's cooking up next!

Learn more about Unconventionally Intimate here.

EP 58: DOES EFFORT = SUCCESS?

The online daters' dilemma: do I give this bad texter the benefit of the doubt and double down on my effort to coax them out of their shell?  Or do I take their lack of communication as a clue that they're really not all that interested and move on?

Related: in this day and age, do women still expect to be pursued a bit harder (courted, if you will?).... or does the "me culture" of 2021 prevent all of us from pursuing more than we're being pursued?

Spoiler:  we don't have answers in this episode.  But Shea and I, along with our VOP Daryl, debate who we feel should be putting in more effort (or in my case, any effort) to get to the date, in planning the date, and even on our beloved hot topic: paying for the date. 

If you're like one of us, who tend to approach dating with an arms-folded approach, join our convo as we discuss the obstacle no one ever talks about in dating: EFFORT.

EP 57: DATING: THE FILM AND SERIES | Eirinn Disbrow, Jonah Feingold, & Anna Jaller

Ever catch yourself thinking:  "My dating life is so epic, it would make a great movie or tv series!!" followed by "that's ridiculous, movies take thousands of dollars?!" or even "that's ridiculous!  It's the pandemic, I can't even GO to the movies!!" ?

Well friends, I have not one but TWO incredible filmmaking teams that beat both odds and managed to create gorgeous, hilarious, heartwarming content, pandemic be damned, about modern dating.

Eirinn Disbrow (Director) and Anna Jaller (Producer, Actor) created Love in 2020, an all-too-familiar tale of managing dating while quarantined inside your home, that ultimately becomes a love story about falling in love with yourself.

Jonan Feingold (Writer, Director) created Dating & New York, about two hopeless millennials cursed by the paradox of love, dealing with tackling technology and communication in a modern day rom-com with a twist.

I chat with them both about whether these stories will be interesting to future generations, why modern dating stories are still needed, and how their projects fit into the overall narrative of female desire. 

Watch Love in 2020

Watch Dating & New York

EP 56: YOU NEED AN AGE DETOX

Let's acknowledge some assumptions about older age that have been programmed into us.

• People of an older age naturally feel a need to settle down.  
• They get comfortable in their ways.  They're afraid to take risks.  They're happy the way things are.  They're inflexible.
• They don't take care of themselves and they "let themselves go", because they stop caring.
• All older men want to date much younger women.
• They give zero fucks.

Okay, the last one is 100% true.  But the rest aren't always.  Why do we have certain preconceptions of certain age groups?  Who put them there?  Why do we let ourselves define people by age anyway?  My guest Kim, who is 59 and struggles with meeting men her age who match her at her enthusiasm for living, chats with me about when we decided what age meant what exactly, and what would happen if we all did away with that filter... who might you fall in love with if age wasn't an issue?

VOP Ron, also 59, shares his side of the story on why men his age act a certain way and broadens to scope to consider culture and location.  Who would you fall in love with if you could unprogram yourself?

Join us for this interesting convo and feel free to share your thoughts here or over on instagram @hashtagsinglepod!! 

EP 55: YOUR FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE | Olivia Summerhill

August is National Financial Awareness month (it's okay, we didn't know either), so in honor of always trying to become more aware and educated, this month's guest is the very badass Olivia Summerhill of Summerhill Wealth Management, an asset management firm that specifically works with high net worth women before, during, and after divorce.

If the words "wealth" and "high net worth" have you about to skip this episode, hear me out: this conversation is way more than talking about what house billionaires get to keep after they find their husband boinking the nanny.  It's true in America that there's a huge void when it comes to empowering women in terms of money and specifically in divorce, where it's more likely that the husband has been managing the finances of the family.  Women need to know what our options are and what our rights are, and as the financial advisor sector is very male-dominant, Olivia has created a firm that ONLY works with women in order to be an ally and a champion and to provide a safe space for women who may not have had the same financial education that their spouses have had.

So we're not just talking wealthy divorce, we're talking approaching money from a place of financial literacy, empowerment, and even if you're single, understanding the psychology, emotions, and behaviors behind your own personal approach to finances.

Okay so maybe all those words still have you running for the hills, but I promise you you'll become as big a fan of Olivia Summerhill as I am after this episode.  She even shares some free resources for those of us not lucky enough to be able to hire her!

Learn more about Olivia here!

Listen to Olivia's podcast here.

EP 54: LEARNING FROM OUR MOTHERS

Everyone has a "my mom told me" story when it comes to sex and dating.  Sometimes they're funny, oftentimes they're weird, and every once in a blue moon there's that best friend who brags about how she got the cool mom who gave her the deets like the older sister we all craved. 

My guest Tati was homeschooled until college, which means she lacked the requisite sex ed we had to suffer in school and also missed out on all the secret information that was whispered in the girls locker room.  Not to mention - her mother told her she was a virgin until marriage... which turns out (spoiler!) was not true.

Our VOP Jeff on the other hand was brought up by a mother who taught him about condoms before he hit puberty.  

So how exactly did our moms input influence our expectations and information around dating?  And what about our mom's mom, what kind of info did she get (if any?).

Join us as we talk about the legacies that trickled down maternally, as well as dating powerful men, and why men don't respond to women who message first.  

EP 53: MORE BAE WITH FOURPLAY | Julie Griggs and Danielle Dietzek

If you're ready for a different type of dating app experience, I can't wait to introduce you to the badass ladies behind new group dating app FourPlay.  Julie Griggs and Danielle Dietzek were working full time as medical professionals when they decided to develop a dating app with a difference, one that took the pressure off the one-on-one connection and focused on getting single people connecting in the world in real life.

How's it work?  Simple.  You join with a pal, called a "teammate" and you make a team dating profile. Then both of you can swipe individually on other teams. If you like a pair, your teammate will get a notification to check them out.  If both teams swipe right, a group chat is then opened.

Dating strangers on the internet is terrifying for a lot of women and Danielle and Julie had this at the forefront of their mind in creating the antithesis of a dating app, one that's not only like a casual group hangout, but one that provides a layer of safety as well.  

Hope listening to these two inspiring entrepreneurs and besties encourages you to text your single pal "hey... have you heard of FourPlay?" today :) 

EP 52: YOUR INTERNAL FAITH

What are the three things you're not supposed to bring up in polite conversation? Sex, politics, religion?  Right, well, we're breaking all the rules on this one - cause not only do we talk about all three, but we dive deep into how religion, specifically, hyper-conservative Christian religions, can influence our value systems and our approach to dating and love in general.  What are the challenges of navigating being a single independent woman when you were raised to just be a wife and a mom? 

My guest Stephanie comes from a fundamentalist Christian upbringing, which is particularly strict about modesty/ purity culture (ie, no sex before marriage) as well as the patriarchal family structure of the man's role being first and foremost.  And while many conservative Christians can and do find love and happiness at a young age, what happens if you're 41, single, and childless and finding it hard to relate?  

Our VOP Kyle on the other hand was born outside of a marriage to parents who wanted him to choose a religion on his own, and shares with us his unique perspective on the freedom of choice and what finding love and dating means to him.

We've never done a deep dive on the intersection of dating and religious backgrounds before, and while this can be a dicey subject for some, I was honored to have this super insightful and respectful conversation with two people from two different experiences and points of view.  I hope you find it as illuminating as I did.

***editor's note: I mention in this episode that women didn't have access to birth control in the 70's unless they were married, but in 1972 the Supreme Court legalized birth control for unmarried people.  That still does not mean that all women had access to it, especially women of color and those without access to healthcare.  Additionally, to this day, some states still require a husband or father's signed consent for abortion procedures, so as we all know the conversation about birth control and women's rights over reproduction is ongoing.

EP 51: DATING IN THE 90’s | Sandra Hatton

YOU GO GIRLFRIEND!!!  We're throwin' it back to the 90's in honor of my birthday this month and the 30th anniversary of It's Just Lunch, a multi-national matchmaking agency founded in 1991 by a busy, professional woman who wanted to make it easier for professionals to date.

So, what was working with a matchmaking agency even like in 1991 when the internet was a baby?  I talk with VP of Sales Sandra Hatton to discuss the biggest thing that has shifted in our culture of dating in thirty years:  verification.  Dating has gone from someone you know (or who knows the person you want to know) to a field of strangers.  And alllll the behaviors that now come with that reality.

Stay tuned till the end where Sandra and I play a game called Dating in 2020 or 2000? .... and Sandra fails epically.

Learn more about It's Just Lunch here!

EP 50: JET SET DATING