Hashtag Single
EP 41: SINGLE. THAT DOES NOT MEAN…

EP 41: SINGLE. THAT DOES NOT MEAN…

January 12, 2021
Prepare to be showered by the goddess wisdom of Acamea Deadwiler, accomplished writer and author of "Single. That: Dispelling the Top Ten Myths of the Single Woman" which we're officially claiming as the #single podcast manifesto!!  
 
Ever been called lonely, desperate, sexually frustrated, bitter?  Chances are you've been labelled or accused of at least one of these things one time or another - just because you're single.  What's up with that?  Why does our culture make such negative assumptions about us because we're not partnered up?  Acamea and I get deep into our introspection and analysis of the things in our society that have allowed single stereotypes to perpetuate and dismantle them one by one.  If you need 45 minutes with a strong, intelligent, inspiring female author to set you up right for 2021, this episode is for you.
 
Learn more about Acamea here.
Buy SINGLE. THAT on Amazon here
Or support female, black-owned NYC indie bookstore The Lit. Bar by buying it here.
EP 40: THE DATING APP TIME WARP

EP 40: THE DATING APP TIME WARP

December 22, 2020

If you've ever felt frustrated or out-of-sync with the speed which your matches want to move, you're SO not alone.  The timing of everything - from when to move off the app, when to trust someone with your phone number, when to meet up, and when you're ready to send sexy texts/ pics doesn't just vary from person to person, it seems like it varies greatly between men and women. 

My guest Jessica and I discuss why is it that men seem to want to talk to you like you're their girlfriend when they haven't yet put in the time or effort to even meet you.  We also check in with our VOP Karl who's over in England to talk about his experience with different speeds on both sides, and how long distance relationships come into play in this whole equation. 

If you've ever been called "sweetheart" before you're someone's actual sweetheart, this episode's for you... and be sure to stay tuned to our thirty-minute mark, where Jeanette shares an audio surprise you won't want to miss! :) 

EP 39: ISO: BUSINESS PARTNER FOR LOVE

EP 39: ISO: BUSINESS PARTNER FOR LOVE

December 8, 2020

When it comes to dating apps, are you winging it?  Swiping right with abandon or whenever someone seems cute or sane enough to have a conversation with?  That might be a good starting point but you may find that ultimately there's not enough to sustain you, and that's because you're not dating strategically.

April Davis is the founder/ president of Luma, a privately-owned matchmaking firm with 40 locations across the US.  A certified life coach as well, she coaches her clients on the one thing she sees that's missing in today's dating culture: value and goal-based dating.

Plus, she shares with us her tips on how to negotiate the emotional minefield of being single during the holidays!! 

Don't miss this final guest expert episode in our matchmaking series.  We've had a blast getting to know all these incredible women and we hope it's illuminated the process and made you curious about working with a matchmaker in 2021.  Let us know how it goes!

Learn more about April here.  To join the Luma database, click here.

EP 38: POWER COUPLE DREAMS

EP 38: POWER COUPLE DREAMS

November 24, 2020
Picture this:  it's a bright, warm, Hallmark-movie day... you're out running errands (with your mask on, natch), popping in to the post office and dashing off to Trader Joe's when you decide on a quick coffee stop... where you spot a cutie waiting for his oat milk latte.  Your eyes meet across the room.  He smiles (or at least... his eyes kinda crinkle above his mask)... you smile... and then... and then what?
 
Not exactly sure what comes next cause that just doesn't happen to you?  We're in the same boat.  How many times has anyone actually ever had a "meet-cute"?  Certainly it's been harder to do in Covid.
 
Our guest Sarah is a master at the meet-cute, but is struggling on the apps cause guys just don't seem to be seeking the thing she's looking for, which is: brains.  In this time of isolation and virtual connection is it easier or harder to connect intellectually?  We ask our VOP Michael to weigh in on whether men fantasize about being a power couple as much as smart women do.  
 
If you're a woman bored of being called "Gorgeous" (capitalizaton intentional) and asked about your weekend instead of what you're reading, you'll love this episode where we discuss relationships that leave a mark and why you should never go out with a guy who picks you up at a gas station.
 
EP 37: PREPARE TO SHARE YOUR BAGGAGE

EP 37: PREPARE TO SHARE YOUR BAGGAGE

November 10, 2020

What's your "baggage"?  Divorced, STIs, single mom of three kids, intimacy issues?  Our two experts - Michael Naisteter and Jaime Bernstein - are pro matchmakers from company Three Day Rule with backgrounds in sex positivity/ education and coaching the transition from co-parenting to single parenting.  They share their wisdom & insight with us on how to hurdle the barrier of facing your scary perceived baggage with someone new by knowing your value and doing the prep work needed to have these kinds of conversations.  As Jaime says,

"Part of being an adult and being able to grow and move forward and have successful interactions and relationships is having difficult conversations that are awkward and are uncomfortable, so I think you have to stop hiding behind the excuse that it's too scary.  Your life will be better on the other side once you face that fear."

If you agree that these positive ladies are just the bees knees and want them in your life, sign up for a profile at https://www.threedayrule.com/work_with_us.

Learn more about Michal here

Learn more about Jaime here

EP 36: HEALTHY, ADULT DATING

EP 36: HEALTHY, ADULT DATING

October 20, 2020

Did you ever get to that point in a relationship where your higher, smarter, grown self just sorta knew that you had to walk away cause it wasn't working out?  Not because you didn't love the person, but because a part of you could see that they weren't willing to work on their shit (while you've been working on yours all this time) and you knew that without that link, the problem wouldn't fix itself.    

It takes a GROWN-ASS WOMAN to truly know her whole self, and know her full value to walk away from what's not working.  Cause this dating stuff isn't for the birds.  It challenges you in ways you never thought possible.  And it teaches you too, about what you like and don't like, about what's important to you and what's a dealbreaker.  My guest Lindsey will inspire the heck out of you to take a deeper look at what you need, what triggers you, and what you ultimately deserve so that you approach dating from the happiest, healthiest place possible. :) 

EP 35: INVEST YOURSELF FULLY

EP 35: INVEST YOURSELF FULLY

October 6, 2020

Excited to bring you our third episode in our Meet a Matchmaker Series!  Meet Tammi Pickle, VP and Partner of Elite Connections Matchmaking Agency which has been a female-founded, family-based (we're talking Tammi's mom!) company matchmaking singles since allllll the way back in 1994!!!  That's right - from matching by snail mail into the digital age, Elite has now grown up to thirteen (!) offices nationwide and internationally.  If that isn't a success story of female vision, leadership and badassery, I don't know what is. 

Tammi shares with us her insider knowledge from working with and around her mom since 2000, including whether dating in the US is harder than in other countries, how to become a priority and not an option, and leaves us with her top three "Don'ts" for dating in 2020.  If you're thinking about working with a matchmaker or even if you just wanna join their massive database, you can check them out at www.eliteconnections.com to speak to Tammi or one of her associates.  Tell them #single sent you and for goddsakes tell us what happens!!!

EP 34: WORLD TRAVELER OF MEN

EP 34: WORLD TRAVELER OF MEN

September 22, 2020

#single is going international y'all!!  It's our very first episode featuring a single guest from another country and we're so excited to get down and dirty about dating in other cultures.  Jeane, originally from Singapore, is a New Yorker celebrating her 10th anniversary here (woohoo!), and invited her friend Govin from Malaysia to join us virtually - and there is *such shade* thrown between a Singaporean and Malaysian it's a good thing everyone is sheltering in place in their homes!! haha

Jeane brings a unique perspective of dating, from her upbringing in Singapore to six years in Australia, back to Singapore and now residing in the US, but of course a lot of universals remain, like... oh, getting set up by your mom on dates and wondering why the hell guys who like you criticize you for your looks???  LOL.  We also talk about how our parents' relationship influences our dating fears and expectations as adults.  If your parents have a rocky relationship, does that shake your core belief in finding happiness for yourself?

We hope you dig this cross-Atlantic episode and we WANT MORE, so if you're living in another country and single, hit us up!!!!! 

EP 33: GETTIN’ NERDY WITH DATING DATA!

EP 33: GETTIN’ NERDY WITH DATING DATA!

September 8, 2020

Have you ever thought about your app response rate?  How about your message-to-conversion rate?  Have you ever done a controlled experiment to see what exactly elicits a response?  Nah, me either.  But Erika Ettin, online dating coach and founder of coaching service A Little Nudge, has.  In fact, with a masters degree and a background in finance, she loves to get downright nerdy with her dating data.

Dating is, after all, a great experiment, and Erika joins #single to share her tips, ideas, and suggestions to set you up for success, and how to handle dating in Covid, even answering some listener Q's for us at the end.  We hope you love Erika and her advice as much as we did - if you wanna learn more about working with her, you can learn more here!

 

Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge, the leading online dating coach in the US.  She has helped hundreds of clients in the US and abroad.  Ms. Ettin currently writes a regular dating column for Philly.com and JDate, and has published "Love at First Site: Tips and Tales for Online Dating Success from a Modern-Day Matchmaker."  She currently lives in Washington, DC.  

EP 32: DEMISEXUALITY DURING RECOVERY TIME

EP 32: DEMISEXUALITY DURING RECOVERY TIME

August 25, 2020

Trying to date with health issues is hard enough.  (When do I bring it up, before the date? After three dates?  Should I put it in my profile??)  But what about the period of time when your health has stabilized and you're just dipping your toe back into the field?  Aside from the challenge of coming back to app dating after a hiatus, it brings up a lot of anxiety and emotion about how to address "what you've been up to" and the desire to be honest but not scare people away.  

There have been so many singles sick with Covid-19 this year, so whether or not your health issue is ongoing, in the past, or Covid-related, dealing with the competing desires to stay home and get well and find an intimate partner can be tough to navigate.  And while apps are great for increased accessibility while we're stuck at home recovering, what if all you really want to do is meet IRL?

In this episode we talk to Lauren, a self-described demisexual, defined as someone whose attraction to a partner is qualified by an emotional connection first and foremost, and not necessarily a physical attraction.  Our VOP Neal sheds some light on whether men, and specifically gay men, consider themselves demisexuals or is it just women?

If you're feeling aligned with either of these two topics, please know you are certainly not alone.  Also - if you're one of the .01% of the world population that (like Lauren and Neal) find Kevin Kline sexy in "Pirates of Penzance" at a young age - this episode's for you!!

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