Hashtag Single

EP 83: GAMBLER'S MENTALITY | Dr. Kathrine Bejanyan

Got the February blahs? This time of year you may feel yourself especially triggered by the abundance of roses at Whole Foods around February 14th or simply depleted by the lack of sunshine and daylight hours. Whereever you're coming from, dating can be a downright slog in February, and if you're experiences negative feelings around your sense of self, resentment, or loss of hope, it may be signs that it's time to take a break.

But, can we take a break?? We've been exploring this topic in the last few episodes of #single.  If you've been dating as long as I have, you might be feeling addicted to the idea of hope, knowing that you can't get off the hamster wheel of dating because the longer we invest time and energy into something, the stakes of having all your time and energy justified become way higher.

This is the gambler's mentality.

Join me as I chat through this concept and more with Dr. Kathrine Beyanyan, a dating and relationship consultant with a background in matchmaking. 

If you're interested in working with Dr. Kathrine you can learn more about her and her work here

 

EP 82: DATING F*CKS WITH YOUR MENTAL ECOSYSTEM | Dr. Rick Hanson

Have you ever considered neuroplasticity when it comes to dating? No?!?  Okay, me neither. 

Why is it that we rarely consider and barely talk about how happiness, overall well being, and dating are interrelated? 

What if I told you there was not just a science to our well being, but a scientific way to rewire the neuropathways in our brains towards happiness so that we can not only become better daters but actually enjoy the process?? 

Sounds to good to be true, right?

Dr. Rick Hanson, psychologist and New York Times Bestselling Author (of seven books!) has spent his life passionately pursuing the science of lasting happiness through positive neuroplasticity and if you think #single has gone off the deep end, I hope you'll stick with me to experience a new and different way to approach dating with Rick, a truly kind and beautiful person who is full of curiosity and joy. 

If you wanna know more about Rick's work you can buy his books, take his online courses, or listen to his podcast, "Being Well." Or just learn more about Rick here!

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Wanna chat more?

DM us on Instagram @hashtagsinglepod

 

EP 81: YOU ARE IN A MOMENT OF MAJOR TRANSITION | Liz Kimball

It's December. Holiday breaks and family time approach. We look back and think about the year and all it brought us.  Check in with yourself: how are you feeling about this year?

As you may know, 2023 was a difficult year for me all-around. I faced my father's death, getting dumped by a person who disrespected and possibly/ probably lied to me, and creativity blocks around my passion projects. Disconnect, lonelieness, and lack of purpose hounded me. With the death of my dad, I questioned the meaning of absolutely everything. Whether you too experienced these things or not, maybe some of this resonates. I wanted to address and tackle some of these issues for the single community with a beloved creativity coach and mentor of mine, Liz Kimball. 

Liz Kimball is a creative guru to women creators like myself, helping strong multi-hyphenate leaders that sometimes struggle to get out of their own way come to a place of grace and acceptance within themselves.  Liz's words of confidence, strength in womanhood, and tapping into one's own creativity helped me connect with my inner self during some dark times this year. 

For anyone else that's going through a transitional time in their life, I hope our conversation brings you some clarity and light.

Learn more about Liz Kimball here. 

 

EP 80: DATING IN THE WAKE OF LOSS

WE'RE BACK!!  Well... kinda. You might have noticed (or you might have not, depending on the kind of year you have been having) that we've been absent for quite a while. Episode 79 was published in October 2022 - over a year ago. What's happened?

Quite alot, as it were. I got busy with work. I started dating someone. And then my dad got sick. 

My dad died in May of this year.

Nothing seemed to matter anymore. It's still hard to feel like it does.

It took me a long time to decide to come back to dating, and to come back to #single. The simple truth is that I had recorded episodes earlier this year that I never published and that was weighing on me. They're wonderful conversations about taking a break, about the science of well-being, and how to hold on to happiness while struggling with dating.

So I thought I would do the very thing I've always asked my single guests to do: be completely open, honest, and vulnerable with where I'm at. Perhaps you too are struggling with loss. Perhaps you're also trying to date while grieving. No one ever really talks about this stuff, so I decided I would. I hope it resonates with you.

(But there's also a juicy and ridiculous dating story in there too, we can't neglect those entirely lol).

If any of this resonates, reach out. I'd love to hear from you.  Comment here or DM us on IG @hashtagsinglepod or text/ leave a voice message at (929) 278-5574. 

EP 79: THE 35-YEAR-YOUNG VIRGIN

Sonali is a radiant single woman who, at the blushing age of 35, is proudly still a virgin.  Raised in a conservative Indian household, her family restricted her interactions socially, not just with boys her own age but girls as well, which meant she had limited social development until she went to college.  Once there however, she wasn't allowed to stay on campus and commuted back-and-forth the entire time.  This upbringing, in addition to her own strong beliefs about sex and one-night stands, has led her to become the 35-year-old virgin she is today.

There are a lot of cultures and religions that forbid sex before marriage, but how does that fit into modern day dating?  If and when do you tell the person that you're dating that not only are you not sexually active, but the person you intend to lose your virginity to will be your husband?  Will that scare potential suitors away or weed out the ones who aren't the right match?

Sonali and I trade thoughts on this very hot topic, and we include thoughts from Dr. Phil who gave Sonali his opinion on this question in 2020.  VOP Jason joins the convo to debate why the institution of marriage is falling out of favor, as well as his perspective growing up in a family that was not as sexually conservative as Sonali's but just as intentional about maintaining their family's cultural roots, traditions, and belief systems.

We'd love to hear what you think! 

Watch Sonali on Dr. Phil here

 

 

EP 78: SOCIETAL CHICKEN

It all started with a story of getting picked up while walking down the street, leading to the innocuous question by Josh (our VOP): "How do I approach a woman in public without scaring her or offending her?"

If you listened to our last episode, you'll learn that I went on a solo group trip with Flash Pack to Peru in July, and there I met singles Elizabeth and Josh, who I got to have a lively conversation with over dinner one night in Urubamba.  It's totally scary to approach a stranger in public and ask them out on a date, but Elizabeth and I believe that half the time we have to give men the permission, letting them know that it's okay to approach us and ask us out - if done respectfully.  Thus: societal chicken.

Along the way we discuss the difficulties of being a career-driven women who has spent a good portion of her life in training or in school and hasn't prioritized dating, and the wins and losses that come with that choice, as well as the shortened timeline all adults in their late 30's and 40s experience whilst trying to date.

Lots to chew on in this reprieved Peruvian dinner convo!  We love to hear your thoughts - drop us a DM or comment & let us know your thoughts!

EP 77: TRAVELING WITHOUT YOUR MATE(S) | Lee Thompson

This summer we've featured some ways to get off the awful dating apps and meet people back in the real world, aka IRL dating.  While City Swoon and We Met IRL are fantastic speed dating companies you should definitely be checking out (see Episodes 74 & 75), this episode is still in keeping with IRL dating experiences, but it's also a bit more.

In July I traveled to Peru with a company called Flack Pack, a boutique adventure travel company offering excursions for solo group travel for people in the 30's and 40's.  Co-founder Lee Thompson found that in his 30's he wanted to see the world, but friends were often unavailable, and because he and his co-founder Radha Vyas (now wife!) couldn't find any cool companies that catered to their age group, they decided to create their own.

You could meet someone on a solo group trip to Peru or elsewhere, but their mission is broader: to create one million friendships.  It's extremely difficult to create and maintain a friend group, especially as we get older and especially as a single person.  It's simultaneously so essential to our well-being and in a post-pandemic time, it couldn't be more crucial.  So while Flash Pack is about joining like-minded people for the trip of a lifetime, it's even more so about human connection and community.  

I'm so excited to sit down with Lee to learn about how he went from a viral "selfie with Jesus" to one of the leading travel group companies.  We also talk about Flash Pack's new blog series SOLO and why it's so important to be having honest conversations about loneliness right now. 

I hope this episode inspires you - if you're itching to travel you don't need to wait for anyone to show up in your life to do so.  Say yes to yourself and go out and see the world! 

Learn more about Flash Pack here!

EP 76: SO WHY ARE YOU SINGLE?

Have you ever asked other single women just how many times they've been asked that dreaded question "Why are you single?" It's pervasive in our culture.  But what happens when your date says it to you?? Or what if - as in the case of our guest Tara - your date actually has the balls to ask WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

Honestly... what is wrong with PEOPLE.

For some reason it's unsettling to meet a woman in her 40's with no kids and who's single.  Why? Because if you don't fit in a box, people don't really know what to do with you.  And that's terrifying.

Joining Tara as our VOP is my now very infamous friend Greg who, once upon a time, convinced me to start this podcast in the first place.  He's now single and he actually met Tara on Hinge, but they decided they're better off friends. Last month, Greg introduced me to Tara and we hit it off on so many levels. Curious how people meet on dating apps but maneuver the transition to friends?  Listen in to hear from Greg and his approach to friendship and women in general, and you'll understand how we've been friends for thirteen years :). 

 

 

EP 75: MEETING IRL, INTENTIONALLY

If you're still feeling like you need to shake things up a bit with your IRL dating game, enter Maxine Waters, an incredible entrepreneur and visionary whose BRAND NEW - as in, they literally hosted their very first event six months ago - speed dating company We Met IRL is completely changing the game.

Frustrated after attending a speed dating event that she felt wasn't very diverse, Maxine decided to do the thing that many of us talk about and never execute: if she couldn't find speed dating events that were specifically for women of color, she would make one.  We Met IRL is a safe space specifically and intentionally made for people of color to meet, get to know one another in a post-pandemic world, and possibly even fall in love.

Join us to learn how Maxine took her idea to a company that is fielding partnership requests, going on tour around the USA, and being featured in the NY Times - all in under a year.  We love a badass female entrepreneur and we love anyone who's making change for good in the dating game!  

Curious and want to attend? Sign up here.

EP 74: GET BACK TO IRL DATING | Benjamin Goodman

If you like ahem, all of us, are tired of the dusty dating apps that lead to nowhere and are chomping at the bit for a Hot Girl Summer 2022, we got you!  We're about to introduce you to companies that are shaking things up on the dating scene IRL - that's right, in real life.  Just like 2005 all over again.

Benjamin Goodman is the Marketing and Events Consultant of international speed dating company City Swoon.  City Swoon is different than your average speed dating service because it pairs the original structure of speed dating with an app-like algorithm to ensure you actually meet people you'd be interested in dating!  *mind blown*  This company is so successful they boast events in 8 cities across America, 6 cities in Australia, 2 in Canada, and the UK coming soon.

If you're IRL-curious, Ben breaks City Swoon down for you.  I've done two City Swoon experiences and I've really enjoyed it!  And heres a very special #single offer - the first 10 listeners that write in to admincontact@gmail.com will receive a special offer from CitySwoon!  You literally have no excuse.  Get dating, pals!

I'm in!  Where do I learn more?

Speed Dating near me with Amazing Singles +Virtual +Local Events | Cityswoon