Hashtag Single

EP 14: PUT YOUR OWN OXYGEN MASK ON FIRST

Real talk:  we're all unfinished human beings.  We're all working on bettering ourselves, going to yoga, meditating, medicating, and practicing self care, aren't we?

 

WAIT, AREN'T WE??  I don't know if you know this, but dating online is a minefield of red flags and you best be your best self before you even think about taking it on.  It can be emotionally traumatizing and also, not for nothing, but if you're not working on yourself, how can you really - REALLY - be ready for the challenges of partnering up with another human being?

 

Listen in as Jeanette is joined by self-admitting work-in-progress Rachel as we hash out the importance of knowing your values and setting your boundaries, and then strap yourself in for a doozy, cause Jeanette brings to the table an insane post-first-date interaction you do NOT want to miss.  Ever felt judged on a date?  Ever felt evaluated just for your looks or by what you have or have not achieved?  Wanna know what some men really think when women say they "don't need a man to take care of them?"  We cover all this and more.  This one might rub everyone the wrong way so hang in tight, grab a glass, and feel free to leave your comments below.  Enjoy!

EP 13: HOME IMPROVEMENT WHILE SINGLE

OKAY ladies, hands up - who owns a drill?  You better all have your hands up because home improvement while single is NO JOKE.  And as my guest Emily and I exchange some rather entertaining anecdotes of attempting to do a two-person job just on your lonesome, we realized one very important thing:  that when you're a woman, accomplishment of any particular challenging physical job becomes in a way a sort of challenge.  As in, "Oh I'm supposed to have someone in my life do this for me?!  Watch this, Society!!  F U Patriarchy!!" {{enter obscene finger/ arm gestures, if needed}}

 

Shoe cabinet/ bed assembly aside, we agree there's things in life that are simply easier when shared by others.  Such as dishes, and cleaning, and decision making, and pizza making, so that when some a**hole asks you just how big of a sausage you like, you can tell them to go F themselves.   Which really we should all be doing anyway.  VOP Tom chimes in to share his perception on why men just can't help but make lewd remarks every bleeping time they message you.  You won't wanna miss this one - it gets preeeeetty dark, but we bet you'll never think about dating apps the same way again.  Or pizza.

 

EP 12: YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE OUTCOME | Rachel Moss

Hello Single World!  Thing have been a-changin' here at #single.  The first thing you'll notice is that we've gone from two hosts down to one.  What can we say?  Even podcast hosts don't stay together forever.  Womp-womp.  We'll miss you Traci!!

So to excuse our being MIA in your lives all summer, we've got a special treat:  This episode features dating coach Rachel Moss of online dating coaching site A Good First Date to give all our listeners her tips and tricks on what makes a successful dating profile and how to approach dating so it's most effective for the both of you.  And then Jeanette gets in the hotseat and allows Rachel to give her some live one-on-one coaching which is interesting because this episode's V.O.P is someone she went on a date with!

Duhn - duhn - duhn!!!!

What will happen when Rahul is confronted with the real reason Jeanette didn't want a second date?  How awkward will this conversation be?  Will Rachel be successful in shipping them back together?  Listen in and find out! 

EP 11: DATING SUCKS IN EVERY LANGUAGE

This month we are celebrating Asian Pacific Heritage Month with an incredibly deep conversation with two Asian-American New Yorkers, Cindy and David, about the influence one's cultural heritage has on their attraction to people of certain ethnicities.

 

Ever contemplate the mechanics of desire?  Why it is that you're attracted to people of one race or another?  Following up on two other podcasts that explore this topic, Escape from Plan A (Ep. 75: Analyzing NPR Invisibilia's Podcast On Racial Attraction) and NPR's Invisibilia (A Very Offensive Rom-Com), we dive into unearthing why it's important to find a partner with the same cultural values, based both on current struggles and the history of systemic racism in America.

 

If it sounds intense -- it IS!  But this is #single, y'all and we never take ourselves too seriously.  We hope you approach this ep with an open mind and some curiosity around how people of different cultures can learn to find some common ground in this dating game we call love.  Because after all, everyone hates a "Hey" message.  :) 

 

 

EP 10: THE TALK

Are you ready to have the talk with someone you are dating? Do you miss meeting people in real life or are you more comfortable chatting online until you eventually meet in a bar?

On today’s episode, Traci talks to Jessica about how to bring up the topic of moving from casually dating to being in a relationship, how approaching people IRL is nerve wracking for both people (but oh how we miss it!), and how people rarely allow themselves vulnerable. Traci learns what a Claddagh ring is and how to properly wear it- don’t get it wrong, folks!

Also, find out what our VoP, David, has in common with our host, that we may have discovered a new tag line for dating, and so much more on this episode of #single.

EP 9: YOUR DATE-O-METER IS BROKEN

Ever feel like your Date-o-Meter is broken?  We do.  All. The. Time. 

Join Jeanette and guest Taylor as we analyze and dismantle the conundrum of the "Ejection Disclaimer" - an easy-out excuse that gets used when people kiiiinda still wanna hang, but also don't want to commit fully.  Wait, commitment?  Does anyone even want that anymore!?  How is it that our grandparents could meet in their hometown dance and stay married for 60 years, yet we have the entire catalogue of NYC singles in our literal pockets and no one can seem to be able to find the right person??

If you're tired of the hamster wheel of app dating that has everyone looking for A+++ and more, you'll relate to this fantastic episode with Taylor and - PLOT TWIST! - her former romantic partner Ned, repping the patriarchy.  Enjoy!

EP 8: MAKE THE APPS YOUR BITCH

Ever get to the place where you have zero f*cks left? Imagine arriving at the place where you are actually in charge of the mind-fuckery that is online dating.  (A girl can dream!) Guests Misha and James both have their heads supremely squared on their shoulders and have spent some time figuring out how this dating game can be conquered, if only with just a little bit of mind mastery.  

 

Join us on this exceptionally enlightening episode of #single that has us talking about why dating apps are flawed (and why you're doing them wrong), thinking of dating as "gathering data" and manifesting your perfect partner.  After all, there's nothing stronger than an Alpha woman who knows she's in control. :)

EP 7: THE "MASC" OF MASCULINITY

Toxic Masculinity.  That's a phrase that's been almost everywhere recently, dontcha think?  The airing of the controversial Gillette commercial last month challenged men's and boys' behavior in our society by asking viewers to think a bit harder about the tagline "the best a man can get."

 

But what the hell IS "masculinity" actually, especially as it relates to dating?  What is it that attracts (or repels) women (and men) to men?  On today's queer episode Jeanette interviews Shoshanna, who is attracted to both men and women, about what she looks for in both genders.  If you're curious to know each of them acts/ reacts differently in our online dating culture, you'll enjoy hearing Shoshanna's perspective on dating both.  As we get clearer on defining masculine behavior, we also weigh in with Ari, a gay man and self-ascribed member of the "Gaytriarchy", to talk about his struggles with men in the app and social media climate.  

 

If you curious about what how the idea of masculinity contributes to our laws of attraction, listen in to this super interesting exploration.  Enjoy!

EP 6: NO ONE TELLS YOU THIS

Happy Tuesday, singles!  This new episode is a bit of a break from our other episodes in that we talk mostly about a book -- hold on, hear us out.  Jeanette talks to Jackie, a single New York woman on the brink of turning 40 and confronted with all the issues of what that exactly means if she is not married, in a relationship, and does not have children.... and doesn't exactly plan on having those things any time soon.  Jackie found her experience reflected in memoir "No One Tells You This" by Glynnis MacNicol, and what follows is two awesome badass single ladies talking about all the feelings that come up when we read a book about being "other" in a married, family-based society.

 

If any of this relates to you, regardless of age, we think you'll really like this honest, funny, poignant conversation about admitting the challenges and the surprises that come with living a single life.

EP 5: PANSEXUALITY ISN'T LOVING PANS, PEOPLE

In episode 5 of #single, we speak with Diane, an aspiring theater director who is navigating millennial dating on the cusp of turning 30 and has just come out to her parents..... as pansexual.

 

Just what is pansexuality?  It's okay if (like us) you're a little vague on what this label exactly means.  Then again, why do we have to define ourselves anyway?  Can't we just love who we love and you can shut up about it??  Okay, sorry, we just got a little carried away there.

 

Join us as we chat with Diane about discovering her true sexuality, letting her parents in on that discovery, and whether or not there's less crappy app behavior when you're pan.